Columbia Pictures has filled Tom Cruise’s potential lead role in Edwin A. Salt with Angelina Jolie. The title and screenplay will have to be rewritten to make sense for a sexy woman rather than a sexually ambiguous man. Screenwriter Kurt Wimmer will redraft the script.

Edwin A. Salt is a CIA officer who is accused of being a Russian spy and must avoid capture to clear his/her name.

I know what you’re thinking. “But I’ve seen that angle a hundred times, like the Bourne series or the Mission: Impossible movies.” Months ago executives were even rumored to dislike Cruise for the role because it was too close to his M:I trilogy. Now Columbia thinks you might not notice it’s the exact same movie if they cast a woman in the part. A sexy woman to distract you from thinking, “I could’ve sworn I saw this already…” Works every time. I don’t care what gender you are, if a pretty girl walked in the room right now you’d forget you read this same sarcastic point of view yesterday and the day before.

Jolie recently impressed people with her ass-kicking femme fatale character in Wanted this summer and Mr. and Mrs. Smith with her future fellow baby wrangler.  So she at least has experience with fake shooting guns and delivering one liners during action sequences.

In all fairness, they’re both good actors and I like seeing them on screen. If only we were talking about a movie that I cared to see.

Tom Cruise

Meanwhile, Tom Cruise has been getting a lot of positive buzz for his comedic cameo role in Tropic Thunder in theaters today. Rumors have started that this might get him a part in Food Fight, a comedy about a New York chef forced to serve food to kids in a cafeteria. He literally hasn’t made a pure comedy since his breakout role in Risky Business in 1983.