The Rock is a total fairy. The former wrestler has signed on to do another children’s movie starring an action hero.

Here’s his latest project from the pages of Variety.

Dwayne Johnson will star as the title character in The Tooth Fairy a 20th Century Fox comedy that’s coming together for an August start. He plays an ordinary man who’s brought in to try to save the tooth fairy kingdom.

When The Game Plan was a surprisingly gigantic success last year I thought they would probably try to work him into a sequel. It’s only natural. The Game Plan B, perhaps. That stupid cookie cutter movie made $90 million after it was all said and done. All because he was a macho man in a kid-friendly movie.

Well, this movie combines that familiar formula with another hit franchise that I still don’t understand. The Santa Clause. It’s basically the exact same plot only he’s not saving Christmas, he’s making it possible for kids to get a dollar under their pillow. They even brought in Michael Limbeck (the director of Santa Clause 2 and 3) for this one.

I’ve said it before and I’ll continue to say it. I like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. I think he’s a charismatic dude and has plenty of acting talent for a guy who used to hit people with chairs. But is it really that hard to get good roles? Is he just going for the paycheck?

I recently lost a few teeth in a bar fight, so I’m going to put them under my pillow tonight.  Then I’ll put the money in an envelope and mail it to The Rock with a note.  “Dear Mr. Rock Johnson, Please stop making bad kids movies.  Here is some money so you can hire a new agent.  Your biggest fan, Jeff.  P.S. Saw you at the Oscars.  I was confused.”

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