Cartoon babes: When I was a kid it was all about Belle from Beauty and the Beast. It’s all right there in the title, my friend. Then she got boring and I went with Ariel from The Little Mermaid. What did I know? We’re both redheads and she’s got seashells on her boobs. I eventually went back to Belle before getting out of the whole Disney phase and going with Anastasia. She seemed pretty cool. Like she could be one of the guys sometimes, you know?
I say all of this because the first 10 minutes of Enchanted were done in a cartoon featuring the hottest animated lady yet. What a hottie. Well, it helped that eventually Giselle turned into a real “girl” (she’s 33) played by an ultra cute redhead, Amy Adams. I just found myself confused…
That coupled with the princess talking about how a kiss makes “two become one.” A kiss? Really, that’s it? I would have gone with a different base myself, but whatever puts tweens in the seats, right Disney? I mean, I kiss my dog and we’re not that close… My dog’s a tramp.
Honestly, the last two paragraphs basically illustrate that I’m simply nothing more than a juvenile with no capacity to enjoy wholesome, quality family programming.
Maybe that’s why I didn’t like Elf. Which is the same movie if you substituted all the Christmas miracles for classic fairy tale references. They’re both about a naive, fish-out-of-water story about a fictional character trying to make it in New York City. But this wasn’t so bad.
After Giselle meets her fairy tale prince, his wicked stepmother queen (Susan Sarandon), she’s banished out of the animated kingdom and into modern-day Manhattan. Prince Edward (James Marsden), in an equally ridiculous getup complete with giant shoulders, goes after her. There she meets a cynical divorce attorney named Robert (Patrick Dempsy) who has had enough heartbreak to figure out what real love is. Together the fantasy and reality characters teach each other about relationships and true love… sometimes to song. Meanwhile the Queen and her frumpy henchman (Timothy Spall) try to thwart her efforts to find love.