Review of: P2 Review

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Rating:
1
On November 11, 2007
Last modified:October 4, 2017

Summary:

But this movie is as low budget as it gets. Two practically unknown actors, some rented time in an empty parking garage, and absolutely zero marketing mean every sucker giving this a shot is funding future unimaginative bloodbaths.

Plus they hired a rookie director whose idea of building tension is to put one violin note over mundane dialogue between a blase babe and her intense stalker.

This isn’t even worth a rental, even for horror fans.

1 out of 5.

P2 is short for Parking Level 2 in a small underground parking lot. It’s also a terrible name for a disposable horror film. The movie doesn’t even take place on P2, but all four levels of empty parking spaces. An empty space where something of value should be. Just like this movie.

This is just one of the movies this weekend with a Christmas theme; both clearly trying to hone in early on the holidays. It also means the inevitable one liners where one character looks at another and boldly says, “Merry Christmas,” before doing something horrific.

Rachel Nichols

The rest of the movie is just as predictable. It’s exactly what you would think. 90 minutes of a guy chasing a girl around in a parking garage. The chills are scarce and typical, while the thrills are non-existent.

Remember that creepy guy with the video camera in American Beauty? Well, Wes Bentley‘s still creepy, but he’s ditched the camera for a flashlight and a security uniform. He grins wickedly while professing his undying love for a woman he’s never met.

Our heroine is the plain Angela Bridges who looks like a young intern but is supposed to be a workaholic executive, played by an ordinary Rachel Nichols. Nichols is pretty, but not the typical “horror movie hottie.” At best she has the “poor man’s Heather Graham” thing going for her.

But she certainly has the B-movie acting ability down though. A cellphone call to her family updating them on her tardiness was as one-sided as conversations get. Unless the person on the other end of the line was grunting in acknowledgment, I’m not sure how anyone could have fit a response in between her flatly delivered lines. Not even the Micro Machine man could have got a word in.

Bad horror movies aren’t about acting though, so soon our leading lady changes out of her smart pant suit that over explains that she’s a businesswoman and into a Marilyn Monroe-style dress that accentuate her two meal tickets. She has to get paid somehow. And we’re reminded of that/them every time she runs.

But this movie is as low budget as it gets. Two practically unknown actors, some rented time in an empty parking garage, and absolutely zero marketing mean every sucker giving this a shot is funding future unimaginative bloodbaths. Plus they hired a rookie director whose idea of building tension is to put one violin note over mundane dialogue between a blase babe and her intense stalker. This isn’t even worth a rental, even for horror fans. 1 out of 5.

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