There is a rumor trampling around from Bloody-Disgusting that the script for Jurassic Park 4 (Jurassic World) involves the military training dinosaurs to carry and use weapons for battle purposes.

Let’s assume for a hilarious moment that this is true, which is can’t possibly be. This is… awesome. This is ridiculousness of Snakes on a Plane proportions. Who cares how outlandish this is, I would love to see a velociraptor with mounted turret guns wreaking havoc on terrorists. Why have a tank when you can have a triceratops with a cannon on its back?

This series is officially dead if they bust out T-Rex’s with friggin’ laser beams on their heads. Dr. Evil would be proud.

Casting has begun for the sequel, which started with Laura Dern, who played Dr. Ellie Satler in the original and terrible third movie. Sam Niell is expected not to return. No word on how desperate Jeff Goldblum is. Shooting starts later this year in Hawaii.

I think it will look a little something like this:

Update: According to, casting hasn’t started yet, as the script is still in development. I apologize for making fun of JP4. I will hold out until things are more confirmed. And then I will make fun of it.