I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry – Adam Sandler and Kevin James play two gay (but not really) firefighters who get married so they can qualify for partnership benefits through some sort of welfare loophole. Jessica Biel is there to not only be way out of Sandler’s league, but tempt him as they try to pass for a gay couple.
Even though I’m not complaining, Biel is clearly there for her um… assets. The trailer prominently displays two of the reasons she’s in the picture, as well as the main reason. Her backside will likely be a draw to otherwise homophobic audiences, but she could be substituted for just about anyone who is “hot” right now, in both meanings of the word.
This movie will be a non-stop barrage of nudge-nudge innuendos based on a weak premise. It’s essentially a remake of an Australian comedy called Strange Bedfellows, with almost the exact same storyline.
The movie toiled in pre-production for years (not a good sign), swapping new actors into the pair, including Will Smith, James Gandolfini, Nicolas Cage, Vince Vaughn, and Owen Wilson. It was originally rated R for the sexually-related content, but was edited after Universal lost the appeal to the MPAA.
I don’t expect this movie to be well-liked by critics, but will fare well at the box office, probably pulling numbers similar to last year’s Click. It also seems harmless, unlikely to be very offensive… or very funny.
Hairspray – It would be easy to point out all of John Travolta’s bad movies, which is just about everything since Pulp Fiction. It would be even easier to make fun of his belief in Scientology. And it would be easiest to then list those reasons in an Internet posting about his latest movie.
I doubt this hack is still making $20 million a movie, but he’s probably the most overrated actor in Hollywood. He’s not exceptionally good or funny. In fact, the funniest thing about him is that his co-star in super-flop Battlefield Earth was Oscar-winner Forest Whitaker, who somehow emerged unscathed.
So to prop another movie on his shoulders, this one a musical with him in drag, is a terrible idea. The images of him as Edna haunt my dreams.
I also want to mention Adam Shankman, the choreographer turned director (?), is working on his own list of awful movies.
I had zero expectations for this film, but early reviews have been overwhelmingly positive.
Goya’s Ghosts – A period piece that seems great in theory, but is getting hammered by critics, something that will bury a film like this. The story is about the capture and torture of Francisco Goya’s muse, played by Natalie Portman, during the Spanish Inquisition (nobody expects it!)