Mr. T shocked the world recently when he refused to appear in a cameo role in the upcoming A-Team movie. And by shocked the world, I mean people were confused he was still around.

Mr. T said in an interview about turning down the cameo, “It’s just like my ex-girlfriend saying ‘Why don’t you come out to dinner with my new boyfriend?’ You see what I mean? I am not going to do that.”

When Mr. T decides he doesn’t want to be a part of your movie, it says two things. One, your movie sucks. And two, Mr. T isn’t very smart. I’m thinking in this case, it’s a little from Column A, and a lot from Column B.

Mr. T, since you’re reading this in your infinite spare time, let me break it down for you. Your name is Mr. T. You are known for being a member of the A-Team and for fighting Rocky. That’s it. And that was decades ago. Maybe it’s time to embrace your status as a cheap gag or a familiar catch phrase, next to Gary Coleman.

Listen T-bird, cut the jibber jabber. You shouldn’t be above getting paid. You can’t do guest appearances in ironic roles for the rest of your career. The best you will ever get is, “Hey, look, it’s Mr. T.” I know you’re not busy doing off-Broadway Shakespeare, T. Take the cameo. Come in, pity the fools and all of that, and go home.

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