This story has been circulating for a little while now, but I wanted to be sure before I posted about it. Didn’t want to jump the gun on possible He-Man adaptation news. The people demand timely news, but they want it to be accurate. I wasn’t just going to jump willy-nilly into a story as serious as a He-Man movie. Well, it’s true. I think…

He-Man and The Masters of the Universe

Joel Silver (The Matrix) is producing a new big screen adaptation of the popular cartoon series “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.” Justin Marks is going to write the screenplay. Who? Again, it’s He-Man. They’re not bringing in Charlie Kaufman to write.

Casting hasn’t begun, so the ridiculous rumors of Brad Pitt starring are not only silly, but probably just a ploy to get some buzz going. There was also talk of doing this back in 2000 with John Woo, but apparently the idea of a slow-motion He-Man dual wielding pistols wasn’t appealing to studio execs.

Nostalgia is so in right now. As the comic book movie era is peaking, a new age of blockbuster unoriginality is beginning. Those moments of pure imagination as a child when you played with your action figures are now being scripted and repackaged so you can pay your big kid allowance to see them done by computers. Sure, I sound cynical, but that doesn’t mean I’m not ready to see He-Man wielding the Sword of Power and riding Battle Cat against the evil forces of Skeletor.

This announcement comes right before Transformers (another 80s cartoon) gets a Hollywood redo coming out on the 4th of July. Plus, Marks is currently working on a screenplay for “Voltron.” Again for emphasis. Voltron! And Robert Rodriguez (Sin City) has been rumored as being attached to a Jetsons movie.

Also, as I was writing a joke about a G.I. Joe movie, I actually came across information about a Joe script circling the industry. It’s a review of the latest script. According to the script review, the movie sounds like horseshit. The infamous Cobra Commander is replaced by a villian named “Cool Dude.” And the G.I. Joe team will buddy up with Action Man. What? There’s also Mark Wahlberg cast rumors floating the Internet, in case you’re interested in unconfirmed nonsense.

What’s next from my childhood? Thundercats? Legos? Barbie? Wait…