Reviews

Takers Review

Published on: August 27, 2010 by: Glenn Kay

Gordon (Idris Elba), Jesse (Chris Brown), Jake (Michael Ealy), John (Paul Walker) and A.J. (Hayden Christensen) are obscenely wealthy, swaggering tough guys, designing and pulling off major robberies. Following a seamless sting, the gang are approached by ex-partner Ghost (T.I.), who has hatched a new heist. But Ghost seems to be carrying some grudges against Gordon and the others. These originate from a previous job gone wrong that landed him a five year prison sentence and a personal vendetta against Jake, whom, as Ghost so eloquently states “took my bitch from me.”

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Centurion Review

Published on: August 26, 2010 by: Jeff Leins

Centurion, the latest from genre filmmaker Neil Marshall, is a brawny, fast-paced behind-enemy-lines chase drama that runs through a slightly predictable piece of historical fiction.

After a credit sequence flyover of some magnificent scenery, the camera descends on Quintus Dias (Michael Fassbender) fleeing across Northern Britain, bleeding, half naked, and bound at the wrists. He escaped the clutches of the savage Picts, a native race who attacked his Roman military outpost leaving him the sole survivor.

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The Last Exorcism Review

Published on: August 24, 2010 by: David Pinson

Daniel Stamm’s The Last Exorcism introduces Reverend Cotton Marcus (Patrick Fabian), a professional man of God who has been thumping the good book since he was a child. He is a master on the pulpit, whipping his followers into frenzy and passing the basket to reap the rewards.

Like generations of Marcus reverends before him, Cotton performs exorcisms as a service to the community and a means to provide for his family. With a calm conviction he looks at the camera and assures us that “If you believe in God, you have to believe in the devil.”

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Middle Men Review

Published on: August 23, 2010 by: Jeff Leins

Inspired by a true story about the birth of Internet pornography in the ’90s, George Gallo’s Middle Men entices with its sexy subject matter, but disappoints with its uneven execution.

Inconsistencies in tone, pacing and style subtract from the film’s inherent charm and refreshing honesty. Themes of guilt and America’s repressed sexuality are lost in the chaotic, rags-to-riches story of two idiots who invent the means to monetize porn and the savvy entrepreneur who harnessed that potential during the web’s infancy.

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Piranha 3D Review

Published on: August 20, 2010 by: Glenn Kay

Piranha 3D is gratuitous, trashy and exploitative. It’s filled with thinly drawn characters on camera simply to expose themselves for the titillation of the audience. There are too many underdeveloped central characters, often displaying no logical motivation for their bizarre actions – and yet, ashamed as I may be to admit it, the end result is one of the more memorably entertaining experiences I’ve had at the cinema this summer.

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Vampires Suck Review

Published on: August 18, 2010 by: Jeff Leins

Jason Friedberg and Adam Seltzer have made their careers from slapping together spoofs that poorly parody everything from large scale adventures (Epic Movie) to world destruction (Disaster Movie) with obvious references and headlines torn from tabloids. But even a ubiquitous genre ripe for a thorough skewering is too much for the pair, whose latest [...]

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The Expendables Review

Published on: August 12, 2010 by: Glenn Kay

Lower your expectations, action fans. The Expendables is most certainly not the second coming of testosterone-pumping fight films. In fact, it’s downright average.

While boasting a who’s who of past super and not-so-super stars, the focus of the story is devoted to mercenaries Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) and Lee Chirstmas (Jason Statham) on a mission to take down a South American drug cartel and its dictator (David Zayas).

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Eat Pray Love Review

Published on: August 11, 2010 by: Jeff Leins

Ryan Murphy’s Eat Pray Love, a feature adaptation of Elizabeth Gilbert’s bestselling memoir, is an indulgent, superficial saga of female empowerment, yet a refreshing departure from the formulaic romantic comedies that give the “chick flick” genre its general stigma.

A radiant Julia Roberts stands in for the author as a middle-aged woman trapped with a direction-less husband (Billy Crudup) and, subsequently, a loveless rebound relationship with a struggling young actor (James Franco). Jaded and depressed, Gilbert takes her emotional baggage on a globe-trotting journey of self-discovery to Italy, India and Indonesia.

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The Other Guys Review

Published on: August 6, 2010 by: Jeff Leins

Adam McKay’s The Other Guys is two-thirds of a hilarious buddy cop spoof, unloading constant, quotable absurdity before lazily repeating those same bits into early retirement.

Highsmith (Samuel L. Jackson) and Danson (Dwayne Johnson) are your typical supercops, driving muscle cars, clinging to roofs and blasting perps in the pursuit of justice. But when their fall from grace creates an opening, it’s time for “the other guys” to step up. (Luckily, that doesn’t mean Cop Out bores Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan.)

Will Ferrell is a Prius-driving police accountant named Allen Gamble, and his partner, Terry Hoitz (Mark Wahlberg), is a loose-cannon sidelined by a mishap at a Yankees game. In the shadow of Highsmith and Danson they are just a pair of paper-pushing desk jockeys, but with the force’s all stars out of the picture Gamble and Hoitz are, well, they’re still a couple of screw ups.

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Step Up 3D Review

Published on: August 5, 2010 by: David Pinson

As far back as I can remember, I wanted to be a break dancer.

A child of the eighties, I was raised on cheesy dance movies that cashed in on the hip hop craze in all its head-spinning splendor. It started in early 1984 with Breakin’ which begat Beat Street that was shortly followed by Breakin’ 2: Electric Bugaloo, the best sequel title in the history of film.

These exploitation films featured miraculous moves and strange gyrations that seemed to be feats of magic to my 9-year-old mind. I wanted to be a B-boy, so I practiced windmilling, popping and/or locking to Fat Boys and Run DMC songs in front of the mirror. With no rhythm and flailing limbs, I looked as if I was unsuccessfully trying to contain a seizure.

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