Gordon (Idris Elba), Jesse (Chris Brown), Jake (Michael Ealy), John (Paul Walker) and A.J. (Hayden Christensen) are obscenely wealthy, swaggering tough guys, designing and pulling off major robberies. Following a seamless sting, the gang are approached by ex-partner Ghost (T.I.), who has hatched a new heist. But Ghost seems to be carrying some grudges against Gordon and the others. These originate from a previous job gone wrong that landed him a five year prison sentence and a personal vendetta against Jake, whom, as Ghost so eloquently states “took my bitch from me.”
If that isn’t sketchy enough, also hot on their trail are obsessive detectives Welles (Matt Dillon) and Hatcher (Jay Hernandez). Yet, the crooks decide to go ahead with the elaborate proposal — because there wouldn’t be a movie if they were rational — one which must be executed in a mere five days and involves the detonation of explosive charges beneath a city street. What could possibly go wrong?
Plenty, as one might imagine from the not only predictable but cumbersome set up. In fact, much of the first hour of the movie features slow-motion shots of its stars driving around in fancy cars, strutting in expensive clothes and ridiculous hats, or conversing in a gorgeous office filled with books that undoubtedly no one has ever pulled off the shelves. In between, they fashion their theft after the film The Italian Job (not the 1969 classic, obviously, but the 2003 remake). Guess if you outright state one of the movies that you’re liberally borrowing from, that’s supposed to make it all okay.
Still, in spite of this and the fairly one-note characters, the snappily-dressed cast do the best with what they’re given and when the detective and criminal plot lines finally intertwine, a couple of entertaining action sequences ensue.
One of the aforementioned bits involves a shoot out on the streets. The other, a foot chase featuring young Jesse’s instantaneous transformation from simple crook to Parkour master. Sure, that one’s particularly preposterous, but I’m not complaining if characters want to leap-frog over cars and through windows; it’s one of the few dynamic bits in the film.
Yet, even the action’s effectiveness is worn somewhat by the film’s overkill tendency, often veering well into absurdity. This is a movie where it’s not enough for a particular character to be struck by one car, or receive a single shotgun blast and then succumb to the injury. 
Instead, they must be hit multiple times and die in slow-motion with a swelling score (and occasionally, to the, um, manly sobbing of a compatriot). For many in the audience, giggles will inevitably follow.
Sure, John Luessenhop’s Takers is handsomely shot and tries its very best, but perhaps it tries too hard. And sadly, after sitting through the script’s high drama and poor Michael Mann-wannabe heist dialogue, an exaggerated chase or action scene can not possibly rationalize any sort of recommendation.
2 out of 5
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