‘Planet of the Apes’ Reboot Still Throwing Feces

Published by Jeff Leins on: January 22nd, 2010

In November 2008, rumors of a Planet of the Apes reboot had humans going ape over another attempt to restart the sci-fi series originally starring Charlton Heston.

Fox had been considering Scott Frank’s script (then titled Genesis: Apes) about a genetic experiment performed on a baby chimp that grants it higher intelligence and the ability to speak.  The animal, named Caesar, grows up a prisoner in the Ape Conservatory until he stages an uprising and a united front against human civilization.

NY Magazine’s Vulture blog learned Frank had left the project to pursue other work (he’s writing a draft of I Am Number Four for DreamWorks), but Fox is “now more determined than ever to make the film.”  Former President of News Corp Peter Chernin is producing and has hired Jamie Moss (Street Kings) to rewrite Frank’s script (now codenamed Caesar).  The team is seeking a director and an announcement is “imminent.”

This movie won’t be connected in any way to Tim Burton’s failed 2001 remake starring Mark Wahlberg, but an origin story further back in the timeline.

The only thing I fear more than a robot rebellion is monkeys taking over the Earth.  Massive gorillas swatting children, beating their chests, and flinging feces everywhere.  It’d be awful.  Not to mention the torture.  Imagine being forced to watch new episodes of “Everybody Loves Raymond” starring apes.  The horror…  Or worse yet, an ape version of Tim Burton — you’ll know him because he frequently makes dark re-imaginings — directing a chimp-ish Mark Wahlberg in a movie about how humans takes over the world.  You damn dirty apes!