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The Twilight Saga: New Moon Review

Published by Jeff Leins on: November 21st, 2009

New MoonThe sequel to 2008’s vampire phenomenon is strictly for the followers of the Stephenie Meyer novels and the hordes of die-hard fanatics that squealed in delight for the original a year ago.  Newcomers needn’t bother with the requisite reading or the essential viewing necessary for being up to (super) speed on the supernatural occurrences of Forks, Washington.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon picks up just months after the star-crossed lovers shared intense gazes and forest rendezvous.  The teenage Bella (Kristen Stewart) narrates a passage from “Romeo & Juliet,” an obvious comparison to the forbidden love of its protagonists who commit suicide by throwing herself off a cliff drinking poison and revealing his sparkly chest driving a dagger into her heart.  The play is bluntly referenced again when her senior English class studies the Shakespearean tragedy and her vampire boyfriend Edward (Robert Pattinson) recites a passage of his own.

Subtlety (or lack thereof) hasn’t changed in Forks, and neither has Edward, a 109-year-old vampire with the body of a Seventeen Magazine cover boy.  Pattinson’s pained expression remains, masking his marginal talent and lack of emotional range, especially while delivering the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech after Bella’s papercut sends the blood drinkers into a frenzy.

Stewart’s incessant lip biting and hair sweeping is halted only by her skulking phase, a deep depression that spirals into a nearly catatonic state of self-pity.  “Emo” Bella curls in the fetal position for months, reacting only to angst-y nightmare jags that bring her father (Billy Burke) running.  New MoonHer suffering is mirrored by the audience’s, a torturous experience where time passes in a dark room while nothing happens.  Luckily, I was kept awake by smatterings of unintended laughter.

Bella’s friend Jacob coaxes her from the funk in after-school sessions of building motorcycles and their relationship one piece at a time.  Taylor Lautner surprisingly shows promise as an actor, if only because he was able to keep a straight face when the line “Bella, you’re bleeding!” became his cue to take off his shirt.

Naturally, Jacob’s developed pecks come from a fever that eventually turns him into a werewolf, where hanging with his friends means trading in a normal life for denim jean shorts and six pack abs.  Though their furry forms mean little more than special effects dollars spent on snarling.

A long-awaited, yet rushed climax transports Bella to Italy in order to stop “The Sparkle Show” starring a suicidal Edward Cullen.  There she encounters the infamous Volturi, a vampire council of various talents.  This plot detour provides a tasty role for Michael Sheen, but only leads to more tedious dialogue.  The dramatic pauses alone could have saved precious time that could be spent doing… well, anything else.

New MoonI was tempted to count ceiling tiles, but instead channeled my boredom into noting these numbers:  No less than six separate shirtless men.  15+ passionate embraces.  Less than 20 words spoken by Dakota Fanning.  Three brief fight scenes.  130-minute runtime.  One chaste sequel that takes itself too seriously.

The follow-up to Catherine Hardwicke’s low-budget romance has higher production value but a baffling lack of entertainment value.  Replacement director Chris Weitz drags out a stagnant story for an even duller adaptation.  At least the original had a relatable high school setting.  We all can remember passing love notes to teen crushes, but The Twilight Saga: New Moon simply transports audiences to a place where humans, wolves, and vampires slowly tell each other why they can’t be together.  Even the most fervent followers should admit some level of disappointment.

1.5 out of 5.

  • Big Nick 5000
    The reviewer is soooo wrong. This movie was excellent. I especially love the part where the dinosuars get loose throughout the park and everyone is running and screami.... Hold on, that was Jurrasic Park. This movie sucked. 0 out of 5 stars
  • faithfulfan
    I just saw New Moon with a friend who has not seen the first or read the books and she loved the movie so not sure what this reviewer is talking about.....

    The movie is great. Stays pretty true to the book and the acting in this one is way better than in the first. The special effects are really good and there is a lot of humour within the drama of Bella's pain. I am going to go and see it again.
  • I have to say I really enjoyed this one, after disliking the original. I too have never read the books, but I had a lot of fun with this occasionally cheesy, but highly entertaining romantic escapism. I thought it improved upon all of the first ones major flaws, and i really bought the leads performances, which were terrible in the first one.
    And don't you think you maybe had a serious bias against it if you counted up the "passionate embraces" fomr the film's beginning? I guess to each his own.
    And I am a straight male, so....
  • jeffleins
    Yes, I was so bored I started keeping score. I lost track around 15 embraces or so. It really is a terrible film.

    Sadly, I've read the books.
  • Big Nick 5000
    I seriously doubt that your straight if you liked this movie. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
  • Liza
    I have to say, that it is a book, turned into a movie. If you have read the books, well, there is never going to be a perfect representation of what you, personally, saw in your head. Ever. So, that being said, take it for what it is worth: one person's vision of what the book looked like in their head. It is entertainment. It wasn't designed to win awards, it was made for entertainment. Did I have some issues with it, yes. But it was fun to watch, and quite frankly, that is all I ask for in a movie. I go to movies with the intention of being lost in a world that isn't my reality for a while. This movie did that. Keep in mind that the book is classified "young adult." So if someone came to this movie looking for a horror movie that rivaled Hannibal or Resident Evil, you came to the wrong movie.
  • Liza
    This is a book turned movie. It is a "young adult" book turned movie. It is entertainment and if one is looking for something more, then look else where.
  • 2naughty4u
    I also have read the book and seen the movie and all i have to say about this reviewer is check the box office numbers LOL BEST MOVIE IN 2009 so i think that speaks for itself
  • jeffleins
    Box office numbers do not equal quality. Transformers 2, the biggest movie of 2009 right now, is a perfect example.
  • Isabelle
    I read all of the four books, looking foreward to the fifth. Twilight was my least favourite, the movie lacked and the makeup was... The directing was quite hardly good. But it became an epic love story once she discovers. The book was better. For New Moon, I saw the movie, Chris Weitz-the new and improved director-followed the story and added scenes, or just messed around with them. Like the bedroom scene with jacob and Bella, it was'nt supposed to be not in the movie, but it was'nt supposed to be there in the story. I also noticed they used the exact quotes from the book, only the best,tough, in my opinion, wich was pretty great for me. I found New Moon a bit... I'm not quite sure how to explain myself. But I'm returning to see it, it was that okay for me. It's a definate improvement next to Twilight. I just sorta know but still sorta hope that "The Twilight Saga:Eclipse" is better, I know the book is so let's see what David Slade brought to the movie. I heard he's making it darker and scarier, he has experience with vampire movies and I guess he would be improving the saga even more, but I cant wait to see exactly how.
  • hezsnez
    I have read these books a few times and love love love them, the person who wrote the above review obviously hasn't read the books, if they had they would have known that the story of New Moon is all about Bella and Edward breaking up, Bella being heartbroken and Jacob bringing Bella back to life! I thought the film potrayed the book perfectly and if you don't like the books or the story line then don't waste your or my time going to watch the film and then slagging it off if you're not prepared to put the leg work in by reading the books and getting to know the characters.
  • jeffleins
    I read all four of the books.
  • soulenfin
    Reading the book a movie is based on is not a prerequisite for reviewing the movie itself. The reviewer was obviously (at least to those of us not slavishly bound to the series) basing his review on the "merits" of the film alone which, if you knew anything about movie reviews, is what they're about. I totally agree with reviewer, as watching the movie sent me into the same catatonic state that Kristen Stewart affected. I read the books out of morbid curiosity and lament that I can never get that part of my life back. Thank goodness I hadn't forked out the money for this one.
  • anna8864
    Just saw the movie, and must admit I was DISAPPOINTED:( I have read the books several times and it just seems like they tried to jam pack everything that happened in the book into the movie and it totally would not have made sense without reading the book. Also I was bored!!!! It was soooooooooo hard to get into the movie, they just kept throwing fact after fact at us but no real story line. I want the original director back!!!!!! Also the music, which is very important since it sets the mood for the scene, sucked big time in New Moon, Twilight was so much better in comparison. There were no major memorable moments in this movie, for example Twilight had the part where Edward saves Bella from being hit by the truck, everything in this movie seemed to float by.....
  • Sarah
    I couldn't agree more. I am for sure not excited about seeing any more twilight films, unless they get a new director and follow the first movies lead.

    I felt like I was watching one of those low budget scary movies...
  • Team Edward
    omg new moon was amazin! it was 50 times better then twilight and twilight was amazin! it was so much like the book and they seemed to stay to it for the most part.. the only thing that sucked was that the wolves looked really fake....they need to make them look more real in the next movie

    but otherwise AMAZIN movie!

    -team Edward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • emmaxxx3
    I think this was a great movie nest to Twilight. I think the Voltire and the Quilette wolf pack really made it for me. It may have been confusing to those who didn't read the books, but if you did, as mentioned earlier, it is a perfect representation. Also, some of the akward parts, were funny. I donn't think Robert Pattinson played a very good Edward, but that's my personal opinion.
  • original_team_awesome
    Kristen Stewart's acting reminds me of Neve Campbell and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Every line is so choppy and frustrating. "I...love...you, Edward. Please don't...kill...yourself." She never looks happy around him.
    Oh and Fanning's natural creepiness has been put to such good use.
  • Sasha
    The movie sucked! Badly.Me and my friends were cracking up through the most seriouse parts of the movie.The werewolves were like I'm cute.Fear me! It's kinda messed up to.I was Like desprate...x] Then how to you go to Edward to Jacob back to Edward? You're were about to kiss Jacob!But then you save Edward and your back inlove?I MEAN SERIOUSLY COME ONE!I would just say screw you for leaving me.Yes I know this is partly for the book but Robert patterson I can't take seriously and Kristen doesn't even act like bella.Then Taylor actually was pretty good though.Well this is what I have to say about twilight.If you think it was good well that's awesome but you have no good taste in movies or books.I'm just saying the truth to.
  • Nisha_Raven
    I read all of Stephanie Books, actually i ran out and bought all four when my friends convinced me to watch Twilight. It is in no way a comparison to Anne Rice who is the best Vampire Novelist. Her character Lestat captures you in her books where you have no choice but fall in love with him. New Moon was a bit dissapointing. My favourite of the 4 books is Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. But although ready the books i still feel the story was a bit dry. There's nothing new to young love. There's too much i loe you, i cant live without you, ill never hurt you. Quite simply put if their wasnt really hunk and appealing men in the movie i would have slept for the entire thing. Jacob was awesome very promising actor. But i really fell "Bella's" performance was so lacking she needed to be more fragile and a little more feminine. But i will give it 2 out of 5.
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