Rob Zombie Remaking ‘The Blob’ Sans the Blob

Published by Jeff Leins on: August 28th, 2009

If the relentless commercials for Halloween II are to be believed, Rob Zombie is “completing his extreme vision” with the sequel to his remake in theaters today.  Unfortunately, the good news of an end to the madness was short lived.

Zombie is writing, directing, and producing a remake of 1958’s classic horror, sci-fi film The Blob.  The original tells the story of a mysterious alien object crashing into Earth. Then ever-growing giant blob of red jelly absorbs the humans it contacts and destroys the town.  A remake was already released in 1988.

According to Variety, the funding is in place for an R-rated $30 million production using the same budget plan as Cloverfield and District 9.  The producers can invoke modern, successful sci-fi titles until we’re living in the time of Wall-E, it doesn’t make Rob Zombie any more qualified to “reinvent” a favorite, especially coming from a director who once lamented the state of horror by saying he wouldn’t do a remake or sequel.  (Halloween 2 is both.)

It gets worse.  Zombie apparently has another “extreme vision” in store for us.  He says he’s been given the freedom to go in another “crazy direction.”  He said, “My intention is not to have a big red blobby thing — that’s the first thing I want to change. That gigantic Jello-looking thing might have been scary to audiences in the 1950s, but people would laugh now.” A follow-up question might have been, “What the hell are you talking about?”  No blob in The Blob?

That’s like saying, “I’m going to make a Halloween remake sequel, but Michael Myers is going to take his mask off.  Then I’m going to release it in August.”  Oh wait…  Maybe Zombie will write an abusive, red state upbringing for the blob too.  I just want to point my finger at him and say, “No” over and again until he gets it,  like training a puppy.  Only a puppy that wastes $30 million on another unnecessary horror remake.