An Open Letter to Stephen Sommers, Director of G.I. Joe

Published by Jeff Leins on August 11, 2009

Dear Mr. Sommers,

I saw G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.  I wasn’t a fan, but I happily paid for my ticket like everyone else.  While I wish I could get those few hours of my life back, I take more of an issue with the proverbial middle finger you gave to critics after your successful opening weekend.  In case you don’t recall the exact wording of your victory lap, I excerpted a few of your comments from the interview.

“I don’t think the mainstream critics are relevant here, they have criticized themselves into irrelevancy,” you told Variety on Monday.  Is that why Paramount decided not to screen the movie for press?  Because critics are somehow irrelevant, or because the studio was fully aware of the movie’s quality?

More importantly, if critics are so irrelevant, then how do you explain this ad or this commercial which both use critical blurbs as a selling point for the release?  Granted, these ads were on TV before most critics were actually allowed to see the movie, but you get the point.  Perhaps you feel Internet outlets aren’t “mainstream,” so they suddenly qualify as relevant.  In that case, I hope you acknowledge my negative review and the many others like it are equally pertinent.

You followed up that brilliant statement with this, “I know it sounds cliche, but I don’t read [reviews]. Why would I? I make the kind of movies critics love to hate. They love dark and depressing movies. If you make those, you expect they will love you, you need them to love you. The kind of movies I make? They don’t enjoy commercial or popular movies.”

You say you haven’t read the reviews, but you’re clearly aware the movie received negative reviews once critics were allowed to see it.  However, it’s the second part of your response that made me the most curious.  You claim professional reviewers don’t enjoy commercial or popular movies, but I beg to differ.

To help you out, I’ve compiled a list of the top all-time grosses in the United States and the critical praise they received (courtesy of professional review aggregation website RottenTomatoes).  You’ll notice only 2 of the top 10 weren’t recommended by critics as a whole.  Where’s this disconnect between success and criticism you’re talking about?

Or maybe, like Michael Bay, you got your feelings hurt that professional critics weren’t a fan, despite the film’s financial success.  What was it that you said?  Oh, here it is:  “Transformers 2 got the worst reviews in the last decade, and it is the biggest hit of the year. More people will see that than any other movie.” (An 80% negative score doesn’t even put the robot sequel in the bottom fifty of the decade.)

If you are only focused on this year’s box office, then why were the other four in the top five 2009 hits able to gather a positive majority?  Up didn’t have a problem with making money and critics loved it.  The Hangover was a huge success all around.

Finally, you said this.  “My job is to please the audience. A critic’s job is to be critical,” you said after comparing us to your 78-year-old mother.  Well Mr. Sommers, one of my jobs is to be a critic, but in my spare time I just made you look stupid.

One of those “irrelevant” critics,
Jeff Leins

For more on how Sommers panders to female audiences and how he thinks Channing Tatum is the next Brad Pitt, read the entire interview with Variety.