Jennifer’s Body Script Review

Published by Jeff Leins on: July 13th, 2009

Script reviews will become a regular feature on NewsinFilm as Script Woman tells us all about the latest upcoming screenplays.  May contain spoilers…

Another Hollywood thriller is headed your way, luckily without the customary and oh-so-scary “Based on true events” disclaimer. The trailer for Jennifer’s Body was out last week and has given moviegoers only two reasons to splurge $12.50 on a ticket to this horrible horror movie.

The first is the opportunity to see Megan Fox (the hottie from the summer blockbuster Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for those of you who have been hiding under a rock) scantily clad and second, the fact that the script was written by Diablo Cody, who wrote 2007’s hit, Juno.

DO NOT BE FOOLED. This script is no Juno despite the talented cast which includes: Adam Brody (from the TV series “The O.C”), Amanda Seyfried (a mean girl from Mean Girls), J.K. Simmons (the fast-talking editor from the Spiderman trilogy) and Amy Sedaris (who cracks me up on her comedy roles, like “Strangers with Candy”).  One would think that surrounded by talented actors, that the film would have to be lukewarm at the very least, unfortunately bombarding the screen with recognizable actors only works in Ocean’s Eleven…

The script contains all the key elements to a typical horror film: Hot girls, sex, a mental hospital, and a girl lighting her tongue on fire. Well, maybe not the tongue on fire bit, but that should be in future films, it’s freaking cool. The story is told from Needy’s (Seyfried) point of view and begins in the halls of a mental hospital (wow that’s a new concept in the horror genre… right…). Seyfried plays a typical “nerd” right down to the frizzy hair, awkward wardrobe and token huge eyeglasses. The script then jumps back two months as Needy begins her story. We see a glimpse of her file before the transition, that has the word “Murder” on it… dun dun dun!

Needy (short for Anita) and Jennifer (Fox) have been friends since the sandbox in Devils Kettle, MN.  Seriously?  Devil’s Kettle?  Anyways, Jennifer plays an attractive cheerleader with the ability to have boys at her beck and call (sounds like her real life minus the cheerleader part). The girls even have a “secret language” that only the two of them know. Oh my. If you hated Juno’s “honest to blog,” phrases like “extra salty” (beautiful), “Quit tampooning yourself” (hurry up), and “move-on dot org” (get over it) are copious here.  The constant use of these made up phrases throughout the script started to really get on my nerves.  I mean come on, the girls nicknames for each other are “Monistat” and “Vagisil.”

Jennifer convinces Needy to blow off her boyfriend Chip to attend a concert by Soft Shoulder, the IT band of the moment. The band lead, Nikolai Wolf (Brody) smears on the “guyliner” and has girls falling at his feet, but Jennifer catches his eye (somehow through the make-up). The band decides to move forward with their plan…  Jennifer begins to attack boys and Needy is trying to stop her friend from her rampage.  Can she stop her in time?

The movie swirls around that premise slowly for the remainder of the film. Although the graphics in the trailer may look interesting and creepy, the language used in the script is laughable. The hint of Megan Fox scantily clad will have young boys running to see the movie. It really should be called Megan’s Body…

Bottom Line: Leave your body at home.  1.5 out of 5.

Line to remember:
NEEDY (trembling):I thought you only murdered boys.
JENNIFER: I go both ways.