He’s Just Not That Into You Review

Published by Jeff Leins on February 21, 2009

He’s Just Not That Into You reduces complicated relationships to a series of short stories and neat conclusions about love’s mysteries.  What it doesn’t tell you: it’s just not that simple.

Like a Valentine’s Day candy heart, it offers well-intended messages without being specific, relevant, or heartfelt.  The star-studded cast makes the most of their scenarios, but while no one is glaringly unrealistic the script doesn’t give them much to work with.

Title cards give cliché one-liners that set up stereotypical situations, making it easy for these simple statements to present simple solutions.  A cinematic Relationships for Dummies.  “Men really do do that!” the writers want you to think when a guy doesn’t call a character back.  It’s a perfect match for people who believe “I’m determined and emotional because I’m a Scorpio.” Horoscopes and this movie are pre-packaged for the masses and deliberately vague to scratch the surface of anything meaningful and true.

The “advice” ranges from blatantly obvious to outrageously false, a dangerous mix of self-help nonsense that probably hasn’t or won’t do anyone any good.

It contains words of wisdom like, “He hasn’t called in over a week… he’s not interested.”  As if it took a clinical psychologist to make that brilliant revelation.  Instead, Justin “The Mac Guy” Long is dishing out helpful hints like “run” while she commits it to memory like he’s discovered the secret to all relationships.  Maybe this explains why Dr. Phil has his own show.

Or my personal favorite title card, “[He's just not that into you]… if he’s sleeping with someone else.”  Were Scarlett Johansson and Bradley Cooper really necessary to relay this no-brainer message?   Did you really need a novel or a chick flick to literally spell this out for you?  On the other hand, while it seems so straightforward an offense as serious as cheating still presents a dilemma to some people, muddying the waters of what appears like a simple axiom.

People and relationships are complex, and can’t be pinned down by one blanket statement no matter how overt.  Just when the film seems like it is ready to embrace this higher level concept, Captain Cliché swoops in to rescue Jennifer Connelly’s character from making a huge mistake discovery.

Meanwhile, the Jennifer Aniston/Ben Affleck angle “If he loves you, he’ll marry you” is said with such self-assurance, as if this ancient assumption still applies to modern society.  The last generation to really believe that was wearing poodle skirts on their way to the sock hop.  Just because it makes a MySpace reference, doesn’t mean it isn’t completely out of touch with the 21st century.  Besides, MySpace is dated.  It’s all about Facebook now.

With these hip product placement name drops it attempts to stay in touch with society’s new forms of communication.  Mary (Drew Barrymore) searches for love through email, texting, and social networking websites, which are not completely out of the realm of possibility.  But “no vocal contact” apparently doesn’t include voicemails he leaves for her, and she obsesses to her coworkers about the problems with texts rather than picking up the phone to call him instead.

In the end, He’s Just Not That Into You somehow manages to get one thing right after misleading winks and countless mixed signals.  Amidst all the unqualified nuggets of pop psychology is one genuine truth.  You simply have to put yourself out there.  You have to be willing to open yourself up to rejection as well as acceptance in order to make a real connection.  Unfortunately, this is lost in the other catch phrases that masquerade as reality.

1.5 out of 5.