Friday the 13th Review

Published by Jeff Leins on: February 18th, 2009

Friday the 13th will please casual fans of slasher flicks, but anyone somehow searching for a masterpiece of the horror genre should expect to be disappointed.  As the twelfth movie in a stagnant series, it is certainly better than most of the previous entries, which isn’t saying much when you remember Jason has “taken Manhattan” and explored space by now.

What it needed was a fresh start, a trend creeping its way through every genre classic these days.  To “re-imagine” the Jason franchise, Michael Bay’s production company (Platinum Dunes) hired a familiar eye for recycled slashers, Marcus Nispel.  He applied the same modern grime and increased body count that he did to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 2003, while combining elements of the first three Friday the 13th installments into one bloody affair.  But, like any retread story, it loses a bit of its original appeal.

However, at least some of what was entertaining before is still intact.  Jason still wears a hockey mask and murders a lot of people.  There’s also gratuitous breast shots and with the bloodshed comes plenty of gore and startling scares, all three ramped up for the remake.  Even the “ki-ki-ki-ma-ma-ma” musical theme of the original makes an auditory cameo.

Unlike the Halloween redo, the origin story is barely touched on.  Jason drowns because of neglectful Camp Crystal Lake counselors and his mother goes on a revenge rampage.  The crazy old lady receives a brutal beheading right as Jason resurrects to see her bitter end.  With the camp shut down, Jason (Derek Mears) sits and waits for anyone dumb enough to camp by his cursed waters.

What better victim than two separate gangs of promiscuous teenagers, stoners, and drunks?  One by one they silently regret their guilty pleasures before taking a screwdriver to the neck or machete through the skull.  This movie is more of a deterrent against sex and drugs than any school sponsored discussion or sing-a-long mascot.

As part of the “re-imagining,” the creative team seemed fit to update and improve upon some of the more time-worn aspects.  I particularly enjoyed the variety of weapons Jason used to administer death.  He doesn’t simply stick to the classic machete.  Jason mixes it up a bit, trying his hand at a bow and arrow, a cozy fire, and a convenient axe.

Nispel also discards the notion that Jason must kill at night.  In the original, things are dark and spooky for a reason and Jason isn’t cutting people in half under the midday sun.  Apparently Jason is a bit more bold in his reincarnation, terrorizing campers whenever the mood strikes him.

At the same time, Friday the 13th doesn’t break much in the way of new ground in the cinema world.  It’s really just a bloody excuse for another stalk-and-slash horror remake for audiences who enjoy the 21st century level of gore.

3 out of 5.