Fool’s Gold Review

Published by Jeff Leins on: February 11th, 2008

Fool’s gold is a nickname for a mineral called pyrite, a naturally occurring sulfide. It was given the name because to the untrained eye its color resembles real gold.

It’s also a perfect name for this movie. On the surface, Fool’s Gold can be attractive to the untrained viewer, but further examination leaves you with a movie as dumb as a rock.

I understand how someone can be mislead. A shirtless Matthew McConaughey and a bronzed Kate Hudson in swim wear can be appealing to both sides of the romantic-comedy audience. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days with the same lead actors was watchable (I guess). The trailer seems fun enough: a treasure adventure in the sun-soaked Florida Keys with a cast of beautiful people… and Donald Sutherland.

Promotional materials promise a wacky deep sea dive movie where an estranged couple reluctantly joins together for one last adventure in search of underwater treasure. Bejamin (Fin) Finnegan and his very recent ex-wife Tess scheme to find “the Queen’s dowry” to repay his debts and save their relationship.

But this movie is a farce from the very first minute. It opens with an unnecessary, fictional story explaining the origin of said treasure. Something that is rehashed in painful detail by a surprisingly clothed McConaughey halfway through the “adventure.” Think quadruple the exposition than in this review. No one seems to realize the audience isn’t present to see an over-explained treasure uncovered, but the zany journey to discovery.

Fool’s Gold is phony because the marketed romance/comedy/adventure lacks sexual chemistry, any semblance of a laugh, or an exciting treasure-hunting plot. There is no spark between the two, only two agonizing hours of divorce arguments that are neither clever nor silly. It’s just two people yelling at each other. If I wanted to watch a couple fight I’d go in the living room.

The other characters are also extremely one-dimensional. Donald Sutherland is a rich gentleman in an ascot that is dragged along for the “ride.” I’m not sure if “ascotted” is an adjective, but it should be and it describes Sutherland’s Nigel Honeycutt.

Alexis Dziena is his teenage bimbo daughter who fits this movie perfectly (she’s pretty, but dumb).

But the highlight for me was seeing Theo from “The Cosby Show” try (and fail miserably at) a Bahamian accent. (Speaking of accents, it was never explained why a Floridian treasure hunter had a thick Texan accent.)

Malcom-Jamal Warner is part of the predictable rival crew also vying for the riches in an attempt to present a realistic conflict. Instead the band of rap mogul groupies just sets up slapstick gags where Fin must escape certain (but not really) death.

Fool’s Gold is the kind of movie that could only be funny if you and your friends gave it the “Mystery Science Theater 3000″ treatment. Nitpicking the endless supply of ridiculous moments might make it slightly more bearable. The only thing positive I can say about it is that I didn’t hate it. It was just bland and forgettable.

1.5 out of 5